This I send to you in humble fury asking for Divine Rebuttle. It was sent to the Brethren mailing list.
- A devout follower.
Dear Ann Landers:
Nine years ago, after nearly 40 years of drinking, I found my way to Alcoholics Anonymous. There, for the first time in my memory, I began to feel good about myself and enjoy being part of God's wonderful world. Lucky for me, I found AA before I lost everything. Other have not been so fortunate.
At one AA meeting, someone gave me a poem about why alcoholics drink. Now that I am clean and sober, I have revised that poem to list some of the reason why I drank. Perhaps some of your reader will see themselves in what I have written and be motivated to seek help while there is still time.
Keep telling then, Ann. Alcohol is poison.
WHY I DRANK
I drank to be witty - and I became a boor.
I drank to relax - and I couldn't stop my hands from shaking.
I drank to feel good - and I suffered through sickening
hangovers.
I drank to be happy - and it made me depressed.
I drank to be a good dancer - and it made me straggler.
I drank to be a good conversationalist - and I couldn't pronounce my
words.
I drank to be sociable - became angry and resentful.
I drank to help my appetite - and I cheated my body of nutrition by
not eating right.
I drank to be a good lover - and I couldn't perform.
I drank to show I was a woman - and became a slobbering, bawling
baby.
I drank to be popular - and lost my real friends.
I drank to enjoy life - and contemplated suicide.
I drank for camaraderie - and drove everyone away from me.
I drank to escape - and build a prison for my self.
I drank to find peace - and I found HELL.
IT HAS COME TO THE ATTENTION OF YOUR POPE that Blasphemy has prevailed amoungst YOU. The intolerance of this goes beyond YOUR POPE'S SANCtions.
An evil Sobriety has drawn it's shadow of insidiousness around our Blessed FERMENTATION.
THIS is something A POPE can never TOLERATE!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!LET IT BE KNOWN THAT THE DRINKQUISITION IS WELL AT HAND!!!!!!!
Through the kindness which is the STUpour, EYE your GRACIOUS HOLY SEE have tolerated those who stand amongst US unsure of how they will sway.
WITH THE UNTOWARD GIVING, WHICH IS The FEERMENTATION. We have opened OUR arms in the loving embrace which is OURS to Give. WE have allowed some whose true faith be questionable exist in our ranks: the TIME has ended:
KNOW YE WHO READ THIS ...YOU, who know thyself better then WE, you who have endangered your LIVER and your VERY standing in this VERY CHURCH, THE CHURCH OF THE FERMENTATION.
BE WARNED AND TAKE NOTICE!!!!
The HAND THAT DRINKETH DOTH TAKETH AWAY. THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!!!!!
the Mechanics are now beyond your control.
IN THE NAME OF The BUD, The WATER, and The FERMENTATION:
IF EVER NEWS COMES TO THIS POPE THAT ONE OF HIS FLOCK IS PRETENDING - AND THIS BE KNOWN BY THE ACTIONS OF THE ONE YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BLASPHEME AGAINST A POPE.
My Children and Dearest FLOCK!!! I leave you with this attachment, a heart felt plea to YOUR POPE, and a message we can all take to our livers!!!!
BLESSINGS!!!!!!!! BLESSINGS!!!!!!! BLESSINGS!!!!!!
IN THE ONESS WHICH IS THE FERMENTATION:
Your POPE